THE NEW, ABNORMAL NORM - HOME ROUTINES & PRACTICES
By Steve Griffith

Wherever you are in the world and whatever stage you are in, in this pandemic we are in this strange and unknown situation together, in fact we always have been – we just weren’t aware of it.
I don’t mean the pandemic, but we have always been connected we just didn’t see how much we are all actually connected; emotionally, economically and globally, right now.

Yes, we were always in this together, globally. We are part of a greater whole, both mentally & emotionally.

We are feeling everyone’s pain and emotion, but we need to be aware of this and realise why we need to help not spread the pain, worry, fear or anxiety to others. How we cultivate that and extend our concerns beyond our own individual self, defines how we care for each other and transcends our own self-interest. Only now are we realising just how much we need to do that.

In that sense there is this unconscious comfort that we are not going through this not alone, we are together in a lot of ways. On another level it’s confronting, the degree of negativity we read and listen to adds doubt that creeps into anxiety and affects us emotionally.

But, will we individually and collectively emerge from this differently? 

Will we decide to lead our self, our families and our organisations differently and what will that look like, will that take a greater social responsibility for the whole?

Well, it must, otherwise we are not evolving and that’s impossible. Nothing happens for no reason and nature creates opportunities for us to simply learn and change, if we have not done that consciously. That will be a choice we are all making right now.

More importantly, what choices are we making right now about how we feel about this situation and what are we consciously choosing to do each day to stay resilient? This a very big reshaping of what we really value and what’s important in our life. 

Will we become more connected, empathetic and caring of the world around us, importantly ourselves? Right now, we all need the higher version of each of us. We need each other to be the best they can be. You are so much stronger under pressure than you think, you have more resilience and you were born to see a future because that’s in your DNA. 

You are admired loved and needed right now. You can’t have light without darkness, happiness without sadness, ups without downs or success without failure.

It’s how we develop the inner aspects of our self to be able to see all of life’s challenges, not as a victim but as an opportunity to focus on our own personal journey to evolve our self, to be more capable, more resilient, more loving, more humble, more self-aware and more evolved.

Yes, this is an unprecedented situation, but we always find ways to evolve because human beings can adapt. We can rethink our situation and plan a different path or future.

But we need to do it purposefully. Purposeful evolution is Evolve. 

But we must realise that we are not simply now dealing with an invisible contagion, we are dealing with the interconnected, invisible emotions as responses to our current situation. Emotions are contagious, as well as beliefs and values.

Being around people who are resilient, positive and maintain their inner happiness under pressure increases the chances of us being more upbeat. Alternatively, being around negativity and pessimism creates an increase chance of being down. We can really put each other on a downer, or we can pick each other up.

Emotions spread just like the virus. What do you we want to spread right now?

We are self-isolating to decrease the spread of a virus, but we want to increase our emotional connection of positivity and spread that. To do that we have to be much more purposeful in what and how we do things.

Yes, it’s true in theory, that we have the freedom of choice and the power of self-determination, but right now the power of the environment subjecting us to more negativity and the physical proximity of self-isolation increases the difficulty of us individually maintaining our own feelings that is different to the dominant emotions of those around us.

A great deal of nourishment for our own minds comes from other people’s minds, their attitudes and feelings towards the world. Emotions are contagious. Right now, we can’t afford to infect others, but we can infect those around us with love, positivity and hope of a future of possibility.

If we asked ourselves what an essential feature of a positive environment would be and most importantly a family or social environment, we would have to include love. Love is what creates good futures, our actions and consciousness is shaped around what we love. Without passion and love no strategy will propel us towards learning new skills, developing our self to learn, grow and change.

But we must be more purposeful about that, each day for it to grow. Love is so strong and yet so delicate. It’s easy to destroy and not easy to rebuild it. Unless we consciously choose to do so. 

The situation is creating a lot of fear, which arises out of not knowing what the future looks like. When will all of this be eased? Leadership only really shines in difficult times and that means emotionally creating positive futures.

We together, right now, must take control of our emotions and spread the good stuff – purposefully. Is that at times easy? of course not. But it’s within our reach if we understand how to build positive emotional connection.

Yes, for each one of us we are dealing with this all very differently. Some will have their futures threatened financially, not knowing if their businesses can survive 90 days, 120 days (we just don’t know). That pressure adds a lot more stress. Those businesses have employees who will lose their future employment.

If your anxious or worried about the future just understand that you are not alone, so of course that is real. We all cannot imagine the full extent of how this is affecting millions and millions of people right now.

Never before in our lifetime, in every way, do we realize how much we all are reliant on each other and that this economic ripple of financial interdependence is so at risk of effecting us all in so many ways when it all just stops.

We can let this overpower us, consume us or we can choose to do our very best to understand that our emotional resilience is built on daily routines, which increase the freedom to choose, respond with and entertain love and positivity.

Love is demonstrated through words and actions and behaviours it’s very fluid, never static. We empower each other with how we speak to each other. But if we are not in the right state emotionally than we find that very difficult. 

Under pressure we may focus on expressing those things about each other we think we don’t like or habits that irritate us. Social proximity over long periods is like putting each other under a microscope of living. Our habits and our thinking are in so many ways difficult to change, until we consciously choose to change or are made aware of them.

How that is shared is either the opportunity to positively influence or a reason for a defensive reaction. Now is the time we are around each other much more, but are we engaged authentically more?

We didn’t choose this abnormal, norm, at least not directly but of course indirectly we are all interconnected with each other and nature - so does anything happen for no reason? The problem of course, whether it’s climate change or the unseen influences of our own actions, is it’s difficult to see the ripples we all make on each other.

Interdependence has significance, not just economically but emotionally. Because our own lives can be very self-focused in our own worlds, we are too busy to see the effects of poor communication or not reaching out to each other, not taking the time to listen, not feeling compassion for the world around us. In the past we could run to work or somewhere else now we are all in a boat and we must row together.

We have to rethink how we feel because we can’t run anymore, we are forced to slow down.

That can be wonderful, or very confronting, depending on what level of avoidance there has been in any relationship. So, we have to navigate closeness and proximity with more compassion, understanding and respect than ever before.

How we respond to our own situations is all very different, but we can’t use the excuse of varying pressures to be the reason we become negative. We still can choose our responses, but we must become more aware of the importance of the strategies to strengthen our resilience and to choose our responses.

When we consciously decide rather than unconsciously react, we get our personal power of will to grow. There are no shortcuts to resilience, we need to consciously choose a plan, and it is needed now more than ever before. We need to reset the sails and catch the wind, we are not letting our emotions be blown around in the winds of fear, worry and the unknown. Let’s not just ‘go’ with our moods, they’re not real and we have power and control over them.

Let’s look at ways we can begin creating and building our resilience to be our higher self.  TO EVOLVE.

1.       CREATING ORDER IN THE CHAOS

-          Evolve and Plan Daily Routines

-          Surviving or Thriving in Chaos 

-          Routine and Balance

The first question I ask when any one comes to visit me regarding anxiety or worry or depression is; How well do you sleep? What time do you go to bed? Do you feel refreshed when you wake up? 98% answer in the negative, not great, “I don’t get much sleep”, “I wake up in the middle of the night” or “I take a while to get to sleep.”

The whole universe has a rhythm, a flow; day, night, the seasons - they all come on time (well nearly, unless there is an INBALANCE), this raises the question of what is going on right now? We need a plan to create rhythm and balance. Anxiety increases with bad routines and habits. We want to create mood altering, positive habits that support our positive moods and increase serotonin- the peace chemical. That rhythm is being in tune with nature and seeing how our bodies detoxify at night in sleep, removing the stress chemicals.

We need to have disciplined routines to be our very best in the middle of the abnormal norms we are currently living in - basically chaos. We all know what happens when children don’t have routines, discipline is a way of saving them from themselves and let’s face it – us all as well. Creating a time to go to bed and a time to wake up is part of making sure stability is created for yourself mentally as well as physically. Maybe we have become just a little addicted to distracting ourselves from this abnormal norm with drowning ourselves in Stan and Netflix. I get it - it’s fun, but it’s also potentially a sleep killer. Practise will power, hit pause and enjoy the fun tomorrow.

We need to switch off to recover energy and to maintain our rhythm. How you feel the next day, how and what mood you are in is major part of recovery. We just have to learn to modify and adapt by putting boundaries on what we know makes us feel less than great.

If you have become addicted to the joys of silence because those children are finally asleep, well I understand, even the big ones. Sleep recovery is one very big key to resilience and mood. So let’s learn everything about great sleep - scroll down below to watch the video by Health Practitioner, Tegan Wallis, all about:

THE BENEFITS OF A DAILY ROUTINE
Tap into the Power of your Circadian Rhythm..... Your Body Clock

During this time, we also need to evolve a deeper connection within our relationships with others.

2.       STAY CONNECTED

-          Make an appointment to see someone and talk (virtually).

-          Remember that in chaos we need each other more, we need to be connected. 

-          Practising appreciation, compassion and gratitude. Remember, finding gems requires a bit of patience and digging.

Our brains are deeply social. We need those around us to make us feel okay about who we are, but we also need time out for our self. We all need our own time out - be it just sitting and meditating to refresh and gain rest or perspective or an opportunity to come back with more resilience.  Our focus next week will include some tips around ‘ME TIME’. Maybe it’s a walk on our own or reading a book. We need both; time for ourselves and to stay connected and develop those relationships with others.

For many of you, you may be loving being at home together with your families or loved ones. Not travelling, having time with the kids, being a walk away from the (home) office and lunch breaks at home can all be a lovely part of this situation. For many this is a highlight. I smile with great appreciation at how zoom in our household now includes a range of daily events; with six children and three grandchildren reading stories, singing songs and communication more than ever before. Watching my son become the stay-at-home parent and each day calling in and having a wonderful interaction with our granddaughter, there are definitely some lovely benefits of this time at home and the connectedness we can create.

Why wasn’t that happening before? We were too busy focusing on the urgent, not the important.

That has now seemed to change, another gem in this situation. Let’s rediscover lost gems but we may have to remove some dirt and dig a little to discover them.

You need patience time and a routine. No, it won’t just happen. Only you can decide and consciously choose taking time to connect like never before – it is the reality of emotional interconnectedness.

We always needed it but right now we desperately need the discipline of routine, it sounds boring, but we must make the time. 

Supporting each other, being much more aware that we are emotionally interdependent and that when we reach out and communicate, we lessen each other’s individual’s isolation. Self-isolation is not simply the physical boundaries, it’s the inner self we must seek to understand the boundaries and the thoughts we entertain and realize that whatever is going on in this ever-changing dynamic of the outer world, we only have the ability to try and manage our inner thoughts and emotional responses to it.

If we remain locked in some negative thought and emotion that will play out in behaviour and speech. You can’t hide, you can’t pretend to feel something different. Planning to sit down and have a one-on-one with your partner is so important. To take the time to listen and let the reality of what each one is feeling just be, heard.

We don’t need to foil anything; we just need to be there. We don’t always need advice, just affection and a little dose of compassion. Find three things to express that you appreciate about those that are near. We all need to know what those in our life appreciate about us during times like these.

Embrace differences and see the positives in them. Learn to love authentic conversations, to dig deep and find the gems of sharing feelings, ideas, views and plans it doesn’t matter if they are not aligned it doesn’t matter if you have different views , it doesn’t matter if you believe different things, what matters is you learn to understand the person your with. From understanding, the appreciation grows.

Be authentic. Speak the truth but speak it sweetly.

3.       EVOLVE A MORNING ROUTING

-          Get up and move!

-          Start your day right - Meditate and learn to love the mornings.

Exercise the mind and the body, get it together before you deal with the rest of what life has to bring. Be ready, resilient and mentally alert.

The early sunrise has power and energy, the sun brings the light of life to the world and removes darkness. Move to see it, feel it- there is a quietness and peace at that time in the day. There is no chaos in the mornings, bring the day in a bit earlier.

TRY IT. It is also a fantastic way to detox from technology. Start your day with something other than emails, messages and social media. Walking, riding or running is all part of that morning routine that reduces cortisol and awakens you. 

Don’t go with moods, or your technology in the mornings, go with plans and routines. Don’t let how you feel in bed decide when and how you will start your day. Get up and GO! You will then let how you feel after you have gotten up and started your day dictate your mood and thoughts for the rest of your day. The silence in the mornings makes it a fantastic time to meditate (we will discuss this further in the coming weeks).
So, take advantage of the early morning – start your days RIGHT.

4 . EVOLVE OUR DIET

When we are stressed (or bored) we eat and when we are out of routines, we eat for stress release. Optimal performance mentally and physically has a lot to with nutrition. Before we even touch on the nutritional value of what we eat, let’s focus on some really simple aspects of creating healthy eating routines, in our ‘abnormal, norm’.

It’s not just what you eat, it’s how you extract nutraceuticals from food through digestion. Nutrition is really important and our wellness team, including Tegan Wallis & Alex Griffith will go into nutrition, sugar, digestion and much more in more detail, over the coming weeks.  

For now, we have included some easy-to-follow tips regarding your eating habits during this time:

1.       Eating 2-3 hours before sleep:

Sleep and eating late can cause lots of problems to our bodies. Our bodies need plenty of time to digest and extract the nutritional value from what we do eat. If we go to bed on a full stomach the body is not able to digest what we eat and so the food does not metabolise, it becomes indigestible and becomes toxic, causing us to wake up sluggish or have disturbed sleep.

2.       Walking after dinner to help digestion

3.        Use mealtime as a time to connect:

Instead of watching TV, sitting at your computer or scrolling on your phone, use meal time as another chance to connect with the other people in your house or virtually with other loved ones in other houses.

4.       Don’t eat because you are bored:

It is an easy trap to eat if you are bored, or because your pantry is within arms-reach (all day!). If you are not hungry, don't eat. Avoid binge eating, emotionally your tongue may desire something that your body does not need. Learn to question this behaviour and ask yourself ‘am I hungry?’.

So, this week we take a little step on the evolve journey at discovering that self-leadership under the three constants; pressure, challenge and change always need us to be consciously choosing the strategies to build that rope of resilience.

Just remember a smile, an acknowledgment of each other (especially those we don’t know – perhaps someone you pass on your morning walk) is still ok. We don’t need to ignore each other, a smile won’t catch a virus, but it could brighten someone’s day.

Make the most of this time to choose great daily routines and have the power to consciously Evolve.

200% life. Keep evolving your conscious choices.

STEVE GRIFFITH
FOUNDER & CEO, THE GRIFFITH GROUP

Steve’s focus is on executive development, incorporating health and wellbeing, leadership, corporate change and cross-functional team building. With over 35 years of experience Steve has worked with some of Australia’s leading corporations and elite sporting professionals and administrators. His continued passion is to assist the growth of individual potential toward greater success, enhancing mental and physical wellbeing and to maximise results in business, sport and life.

We look forward to connecting with you in the coming weeks.